Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Monday, January 5, 2009
A sad Monday...............
- It has been a sad Monday morning for me. Two of my students came with their stories - a sad one indeed.
- The first, a cheerful looking girl came to ask if she should resit for my Human Communication course. She has gotten a C- and would like to improve on her grade. I like students with this kind of attitude. Hence, I explained all the procedures and after that she told me that she missed the whole of last semester. And I asked why to which she answered "I was involved in an accident". I figured that out as I can see raw scars on her fair face.
- She said that a car did U turn in front of them and collided with their car. "My father died, my stepmom broke her legs and the rest were badly injured,". I said sorry to hear that. And the story did not stop there.
- "I was in coma for 4 days. When I woke up, I lost my memory and could not remember anything. Only a month after that I regained my memory and started asking questions. My mom kept on telling people that I "sakit otak". I was so pissed off so I told her that everytime she said that, that's a doa for me from a mother,".
- So I told her that "probably your mom did not know how to explain to people your condition which could be "a temporary unstable mind". To make it easier and to avoid answering too many complicated questions, she reduced to such simple answer which may not be totally true but that's how she thought it was best at that point. She meant well, am sure".
- And I asked her about her stepmom. Her quick two words answer left me dumbfounded. "Dah berambus". Not knowing how to react I quickly said "oh, not a good relationship I guess,". And she went on and on and on - venting out her frustration over her family's situation.
- I told her, as cliche as it may sounds, that everything happens for the best. Only God knows what is best for us. So stay strong for her mom and do well in her studies so that she can enjoy a good life with her mom.
- She also managed to tell me how her so-called-bestfriends (four of them) ignored her after she got back from her one semester leave just because she decided to change some aspects of her life. "I have changed for the better because I wanted to,". "And that's not all, my boyfriend broke off with me as well,".
- I asked her age and she said 20. "Never mind. There are 29millions people in Malaysia and you will definitely gain better friends and obviously, better man in your life. Don't worry about them because they did not deserve you after all. You deserve better people in your life. Just enjoy your studies, get good grades and take good care of your mom,". Ohhh.....she worries about the economic downturn and job opportunites as well. "Get your degree first and then we worry about that. If you don't get your degree, what's the point of worrying world issues," I said.
- She left with a big smile on her face. She just needed someone to talk to and listen to her. Am glad that she came to me. Such hugh emotional roller coaster ride for her at that age and I hope that she is able to cope well.
- Another third year student came after that with a letter. "I want to take leave for a month and the dean has given his approval,". And I asked why."My mom passed away on Christmas Day" and I saw the death cert attached to the letter.
- I casually asked the cause of death and she said "A bike hit her while she was doing morning walk with her friends. She fell on the road and her head hit on the road and she never regained conscious. The doctor said that all her system went dead immediately after,". And she started to cry.
- "The sad thing is that we sort of know who did that to her and it happened nearby our house. Everyday we have to pass by that road in order to go back home. My father is now very unwell and very shocked of her sudden departure. One of her walking friend is loosing her mind now because she could not cope with the fact that mom is gone forever. So, I have to take leave to take care of my father who is now living alone and very unstable," she said between sobs.
- I hugged her and told her that at least her mom did not suffer, if that is of any consolation to her. And she agreed. I told her that I can emphatize with her and she needs to be strong for her father and for herself.
- I almost broke into tears when she said "before she went off, she told me that she wanted to attend my graduation which is in August,". I told her that her mom will always be with her - graduation or otherwise - and yes, she will definitely be with her on the graduation day - in her mind, spirit, heart and soul. She will be watching her proudly receiving her scroll.
- I felt sad for both of them. At that age, they have to deal with such heart-breaking situation. At that age, I was crying outloud because I did not have the so-called proper attire to wear to certain places, did not have the matching shoes, did not have this and that and thought that was real world issues. And others have to deal with matters of life and death. An sad but awakening Monday morning for me.......There must be a reason why God send the two students with their share of stories to me.............
-Che Dak LA-
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